Unapologetic
You don't have to be 100% for someone. In fact, you shouldn't be.
I recently got an email from someone who said they loved my podcast…but had a suggestion.
“Lose the f-words,” they said. “It reduces your credibility.”
This made me pause. (Because my mom, bless her, always asks me to lose the bombs. But not because of credibility. I respect her immensley, let it be known, yet my language choices are my own.)
And listen this wasn’t a troll. It was framed as helpful. Polite. Well-intentioned! Which is exactly why it’s worth talking about. Because moments like this are where a lot of artists, actors, and creatives quietly start sanding themselves down. Not because they agree but because they’re wondering:
Are they right?
Am I doing this wrong?
Should I adjust?
Will I lose an opportunity because of what I’m doing?
But here’s something someone told me last year that I wish I had adopted earlier on in my career:
You do not need to be 100% for someone to be successful.
You don’t need universal approval. You don’t need to appeal to every taste, every generation, every sensibility. You don’t need to sound like the version of “professional” someone else is comfortable with. That’s literally impossible. What you do need is clarity.
There’s a big difference between feedback that helps you grow and feedback that’s really just about preference. Taste doesn’t make you grow.
Some people don’t like swearing. Some people don’t like bluntness. Some people don’t like confidence when it comes from women, especially women who aren’t apologizing for it. And let me be fucking clear, I’m not apologizing.
All of this is to say that just beause you do something or are something that isn’t someone else’s preference, it doesn’t make your work wrong. It just means it isn’t for them. AND THAT IS OK! It’s also NOT failure.
You have one voice. And it’s not flawed.
Every creative choice you make does something important: it attracts your people.
And it repels the ones who were never going to fully get you anyway. That’s a feature! Not a bug.
If you try to smooth out every sharp edge to avoid discomfort, you don’t end up with a stronger voice you end up with a quieter one that isn’t even yours anymore. And that becomes one that is harder to recognize. Harder to trust. And sooooo much easier to ignore.
So here’s the thing:
Credibility isn’t about cleanliness. There’s this persistent myth that credibility comes from sounding a certain way. “Polished” and neutral and inoffensive. (Is that a word?)
But credibility actually comes from:
Knowing who you’re talking to
Speaking with intention
Standing behind your choices
Having conviction about your stance
Saying what you want to say based on how you feel AND on what’s fact
(Sound familiar? It should because this is how actors should be approaching their auditions!)
People trust clarity and conviction. As a creative entrepreneur, trust is your business’s BLOOD. People trust someone who isn’t constantly checking the room to see if they’re allowed to take up space or apologizing for being there, come what may.
I think one of the things a lof of creatives miss is when someone says, “This doesn’t work for me,”…they translate it to meann, “This doesn’t work.” But it simply means you’ve made a choice. And if that choice aligns with your values, your audience, and the work you want to be doing? You don’t need to defend it or explain it or adjust for someone’s permission. Be an Olsen Twin and remember that “yes” and “no” are complete sentences and you don’t have to earn them to speak them.
You can simply say: This is intentional.
Bottom line?
As a business owner, you are not here to be universally liked. I know it’s hard as an actor because we are taught vigorously and relentlessly that we need to fit into this nice, clean little actor box that anyone can pick up and admire. But that’s FALSE. (Thanks, Dwight.)
You are here to be unmistakably you. The right people don’t need you to soften your edges. They recognize themselves in them. And the rest?
They’re allowed to fucking opt out. So are you.
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$20 to audit: https://www.actingbusinessbootcamp.com/offers/aEiLzWiJ/checkout
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you have always been your witty, kind, tough, REAL self whenever i have interacted with you and i fucking love you for it!
Keep the F-bombs! They're REAL and relatable. Love this take, Mandy, thanks for the post.