Stop

On the questions that make everyone in the group uncomfortable except you.

You’ve seen it. Maybe you’ve done it. No judgment. But we need to talk about it.

There is a specific kind of question that gets asked in voiceover Facebook groups, Discord servers, Reddit, and other online communities roughly forty-seven THOUSAND times a day. It is asked with the best intentions, I am 100% sure but these questions are usually posed for validation or feefees instead of ACTUAL help or guidance on improvement. It is received with a mix of mild dread (by everyone), exhausted goodwill (by those still willing), holier-than-thou judgment (by veterans who don’t really audition like we peons do) and the quiet resignation of someone who has answered this exact question before and knows they are about to answer it again.

The question is not bad. Well, not in the way you may be thinking. One thing for sure is that the person asking it is not bad. But the question is in the wrong room, being asked of the wrong people, in a format that cannot possibly give them what they actually need.

Here is a partial list. With better options. Because the goal is not to make you feel bad. The goal is to make you more effective.

The questions, and what to ask instead

Don’t ask the group:

“Can you give me feedback on my demo?”

Ask instead:

A group of strangers with varying experience levels, no context about your goals, and fifteen seconds of attention to give you is not a feedback mechanism. It is a validation machine. Hire a coach!!!! Get a professional demo producer!!!! Pay for an audit from someone whose opinion is informed by actual industry knowledge and accountability!!!!!! The feedback you get in a Facebook group is free for a reason. And again, it’s probably not BAD ADVICE but it doesn’t serve the purpose you need it to.

Don’t ask the group:

“Where do I find jobs?”

Ask instead:

This question has a searchable answer. For fuck sake it has been answered in all these spaces over and over and over and over. It has had a searchable answer for fifteen years. Type it into Google. Type it into the search bar of the group you are currently in. The information exists and it is not hiding from you. What you are actually asking is “can someone do the research for me,” and the answer is: they have their own business to run and this pisses people off. It’s not fucking gatekeeping. It’s LAZINESS and they can smell it. And it reeks.

Don’t ask the group:

“Am I good enough to start?”

Ask instead:

Nobody in a group can answer this. Not because they don’t care, but because they cannot hear your voice, they don’t know your training history, they don’t know what market you’re entering, they don’t know your skills, and they don’t know what “good enough” means to you. This question is asking the internet to tell you something only your work can tell you. Start. Find out.

Don’t ask the group:

“How much should I charge?”

Ask instead:

This one is nuanced. I get that because the NU world is Wild Wild West in terms of rates and almost everything is a la carte, there are still real resources to utilize. These exist specifically so you don’t have to crowdsource your business decisions from people who may or may not have any idea what the current market looks like. Find the resources. Use them. Then ask a specific question if something doesn’t make sense.

Don’t ask the group:

“Is this client legit?”

Ask instead:

Sometimes this one is valid. But “is this legit” posted with no context, no contract language, no rate information, and just a client name is not a question anyone can responsibly answer. Post the specific thing that is making you uncomfortable. The email that feels off. The payment terms that seem strange. Give people something to actually evaluate instead of asking them to psychically assess a stranger’s business from a company name alone.

Don’t ask the group:

“What microphone should I buy?”

Ask instead:

Microphones are so personal and there are a dozen factors to consider so this question will get you twenty-seven different answers from people who all love the microphone they own, a small argument about audio interfaces, and at least one person who tells you equipment doesn’t matter followed by a detailed explanation of their equipment. Do the research. Listen to samples. Buy from somewhere with a return policy. The microphone thread is eternal and it will not help you. Booking time with an engineer whose job it is to literally tell you about mics is my go-to answer.

Don’t ask the group:

“Can someone listen to my audition and tell me if I should submit it?”

Ask instead:

Submit it or don’t. The decision belongs to you. A stranger in a group telling you it “sounds good” is not quality control. A stranger telling you it “sounds bad” is not quality control either. Develop your own ear. Work with a coach until you trust your own judgment. Outsourcing that judgment to a group is not a step toward confidence. It is a step away from it. If you want real feedback, get specific and ask people who are actually going to help you improve.

Don’t ask the group:

“Has anyone worked with [platform]? Is it worth it?”

Ask instead:

This one is closer to valid, and the distinction matters. “Has anyone worked with this platform” is a reasonable question. “Is it worth it” is not, because the answer depends entirely on your niche, your rate floor, your booking history, your goals, and what you consider a return on your time. Ask the first question. Evaluate the specific answers you get. Make the business decision yourself.

Now, none of this is about gatekeeping. Ask questions! Communities exist to share knowledge and that knowledge is genuinely useful when the question is specific, when it cannot be answered by a search engine, and when what you need is experience, not information.

The problem is not curiosity. The problem is outsourcing decisions that belong to you to people who cannot be accountable for the outcome. The group cannot build your business. Only you can do that. I will say this until I am blue in the freakin’ gills: Be specific. Do the research first. Bring your actual problem, not the question underneath the problem. That is how groups become useful instead of exhausting. For you and for everyone in them.

What question do you wish people would stop asking? Or what question do you wish someone had told you to stop asking earlier? Drop it below. I’m curious if I’m alone here.

LOTS ON THE CALENDAR THIS MONTH:

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