Redirection

Being honest about strengths and weaknesses is a coach's job

Recently I had one of those coaching moments that nobody really talks about publicly, because it’s uncomfortable and it doesn’t make for a good “instagram” moment. A student I’ve been sporadically working with told me they wanted to do commercial VO. Badly. It was the niche he’d built his whole identity around chasing. He had already made a few demos through the years that had yielded him exactly NOTHING. Not an agent, not one single job. And his “every day” coach, someone whose ear I trust, gave him honest feedback that confirmed what I already knew: he still wasn’t ready to pursue it professionally. And what’s more, he might not EVER be ready for it in this specific lane.

Now this student has come to me for classes and advice and I have been telling him to continue to coach and learn. But now, with his coach telling him that he still wasn’t ready (after a long time of coaching together), I had a choice to make. Keep offering my services and gentle encouragement toward a door that probably wasn’t going to open. Or tell him the truth and actually help him find a door that would.

I chose the truth. And I didn’t do it to crush him. I did it to prove to him that just because one specific space in voiceover MIGHT not be for him, it doesn’t mean there aren’t others. So here’s how I had to think of it:

Redirection is NOT rejection

The instinct when you have to deliver this kind of feedback is to soften it into vagueness. “Keep at it, you’ll get there.” “Everyone’s journey is different.” That’s not kindness, that’s COWARDICE. And when cowardice is wearing kindness as a costume, it becomes a bigger problem for everyone. This wastes someone’s time and money, gives them false hope, and in the same vein, it protects you, the coach, more than it protects them.

Real kindness sounds specific. It names exactly what isn’t working, and just as importantly, it names somewhere that specific skill set actually does work.

So when we actually had this conversation, I didn’t lead with “commercial VO isn’t for you.” I led with what I’d genuinely observed: a voice and read style that had real strengths, just not the strengths this particular niche rewards. Then I named three lanes where those exact same strengths become assets instead of liabilities. SPECIFIC to him and not just where “the money is” or where “low hanging fruit” is. Different registers, different demands, and a much better match for what he actually brought to the mic.

The message wasn’t “give up.” And it also wasn’t “just keep going”. It was “you’ve been knocking on the wrong door with the right set of keys.”

This is what every student who is coaching needs and deserves. If you’ve been working with a coach for a long period of time, they should know you. They should know your skill level, your marketability, and should be able to project, at some level, your ability to succeed in the lane you’re coaching in. If they don’t or can’t name those things specifically, then…well…I think you know what I’m gonna say.

Boundaries matter, too

Alongside the redirection, I also had to be honest that ongoing free coaching wasn’t something I could keep offering. That’s not punishment. That’s just reality. He’d been putting in free 15-minute consults again and again which is something I am really glad to offer but I hadn’t put my boundaries on it. This wasn’t HIS issue, it was mine and it was HARD FOR ME to face it because I want to walk the line of champion for the actor without compromising myself. For a people pleaser like myself, this is challenging. Free feedback indefinitely, especially once it’s clear the current path isn’t working, becomes an unsustainable pattern that helps no one, ESPECIALLY the student who deserves a coach who’s actually invested in the outcome, not just being nice on autopilot.

Naming that boundary clearly, in the same conversation as the redirection, actually makes the redirection land better. It signals this isn’t a dismissal. It’s a real assessment from someone who cares enough to tell the truth and structure the relationship honestly going forward. It’s a win freaking win for BOTH of us, even though it’s “hard”.

I think about integrity in coaching the same way I think about integrity in this industry generally. If I’ll tell you what you want to hear because it’s easier, you can’t actually trust anything I tell you, including the compliments. The value of “you’re ready for this” only means something if I’m also willing to say “you’re not, and here’s why.” But it’s the “why” part that a lot of coaches fuck up because they want to keep their students. I get it. But EVERY actor deserves a coach who will do that. Not brutally. I don’t believe in “brutal honesty”. I believe in SPECIFIC honesty with a next step already in hand when the hard news lands.

If you’re an actor who’s been given vague, “hedge-everything” feedback for a long time, it might be worth asking your coach directly: what’s actually not working, and what would work better? You might be surprised how much clearer things get when someone finally answers honestly. You can’t keep throwing money at a coach who is constantly protecting themselves from the discomfort of a direct assessment. That’s the whole reason you get coaching in the first place! If you suspect you’ve been getting this type of feedback for a while, here’s how to ask for something more useful:

Ask the direct question, not the fishing question. Instead of “how am I doing,” try “what’s the one thing that’s actually holding me back right now?” The first question invites a hedge. The second one requires an answer.

Tell your coach you can handle it. Sometimes coaches soften feedback because they’re guessing at how fragile you are, not because the feedback itself is unclear. Saying plainly, “I’d rather hear the hard version than the nice version,” gives them permission to actually say it.

Ask what vertical fits, not just what’s wrong. If something isn’t working, the most useful follow up isn’t “how do I fix this,” it’s “given what you’re seeing, where do you think this would actually work.” A good coach can often see a better fit lane before you can, especially if you’re too attached to the one you originally wanted. This is hard though because so many actors put their heart in something they really want instead of things they’re actually marketable in.

Notice if the feedback ever changes. If you’ve heard “keep at it, you’re improving” for months without anything getting more specific, that’s worth naming out loud. A coach who respects you will welcome that question. One who gets defensive about it is telling you something, too.

Remember redirection isn’t a verdict on your talent. A coach steering you away from one vertical is not the same as a coach saying you shouldn’t be doing this at all. Conflating the two is usually what makes actors avoid asking for honesty in the first place.

Hang in there, moonbeams.

ON THE CALENDAR THIS MONTH:

🎙TOMORROW Rock your Commercial Voiceover Auditions: Wednesday August 5, 730pm EST
Participation: https://www.actingbusinessbootcamp.com/offers/2g3LLyme/checkout
Audit: https://www.actingbusinessbootcamp.com/offers/vFkpx4Lz/checkout

🎙Learning Audio Description for TV: Tuesday August 11, 730pm EST
Participation: https://www.actingbusinessbootcamp.com/offers/TPb4DHP3/checkout
Audit: https://www.actingbusinessbootcamp.com/offers/q47aKCC6/checkout

🎙Interactive Media: Museum Tours and Hotel Guides: Wednesday August 17, 730pm EST
Audit: https://www.actingbusinessbootcamp.com/offers/6f3DKFj2/checkout

🎙In Store Announcements and Brand Radio: Tuesday August 25, 730pm EST
Participation: https://www.actingbusinessbootcamp.com/offers/2paQ5Eax/checkout
Audit: https://www.actingbusinessbootcamp.com/offers/YwkTjCsy/checkout

🎙Corporate Narration and Explainers: Monday August 31, 730pm EST
Audit: https://www.actingbusinessbootcamp.com/offers/mGgz8WXH/checkout