Dots

Your agent pitch isn't "bad" but it's not connecting the dots

I got an agent pitch from a student recently that I want to break down, because the mistakes in it are so common I see some version of them a few times every week. I dunno who started telling actors to write this way, but we gotta stop. There are better ways. It’s why I created these email courses to speak the language of agents, cd’s and cold lead clients. Anyway. I digress.

Here’s roughly what they sent:

Hi [Agent],

I hope you’re doing well! Your agency came highly recommended, so I wanted to reach out and introduce myself. I’m a voice talent seeking commercial representation, and I’d be grateful for the opportunity to be considered. I’ve attached my commercial demo and headshot for your review.

I have a home studio with broadcast-quality audio and am Source-Connect ready for remote or live-directed sessions. I appreciate the opportunity to be considered and look forward to hearing from you.

Warm regards,
Person you’ll forget in 2 seconds

Polite. Professional-sounding. Grammatically fine. And it does pretty much zippo-potomous to actually get the needle moving.

Here’s the feedback I sent back, and the bigger lesson underneath it.

“Highly recommended” By whom, exactly?

If you’re going to say an agency came highly recommended, that sentence needs a second half. Without backing it up, it just sounds frilly and vague. “Recommended by a fellow actor who just booked a national spot through you” or “recommended by someone I met at a casting workshop who spoke highly of how you advocate for your roster” does actual work. It tells the agent something true and specific about their own reputation, and it tells them you didn’t just Google “voiceover agencies near me” and start firing off form letters.

Vague credibility isn’t credibility. It’s filler wearing a pretty compliment necklace.